update useRef documentation to use ref prop instead of forwardRef

[joshuaslate]

I noticed a couple of spots in the documentation that were suggesting using forwardRef. I updated them to use the ref prop instead.

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Size changes

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This PR introduced no changes to the JavaScript bundle! 🙌

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[gaearon]

there are a lot of unrelated whitespace changes

[gaearon]

let's remove the optional chaining, use the crash to explain the problem, and remove the unnecessary ...props thing